My boyfriend and I were (approx.) 36 hours away from each other for the holidays. Two-thousand three hundred thirty (and 9 tenths!) miles away…roughly. I still have never experienced the magical midnight kiss that seems to whisper, “Congratulations! You obviously matter because you tongued some stud this year!”
For years, I desperately clung to the agony the holiday season could unearth; especially in a sensitive empath, as myself. This past season was no exception. Even though I spent quality time with my family, I still battled with lingering feelings of loneliness in my heart.
What is the “New Year’s Blues?”
Simply put, the New Year’s Blues is a fog of depression and sadness that falls over you as the old year dwindles down and the New Year seeps in. This time is traditionally a time for reflection for most people. And while some people get extremely motivated and inspired to set goals and aspirations of change for the next year, others feel discouraged and crushed by the weight of what wasn’t and what didn’t happen in the passing year.
Some of us can get so wrapped up in our heads that the magic and promise of new wishes and new possibilities get lost on us. We can become demotivated and cling to our low spirits. When you pair reflection without action, you get a case of overthinking paralysis. Professionals call it ruminating. This unhealthy obsession with your perceived failures and rejections promotes a dangerous lens of self-criticism and maybe even self-loathing. You’ll feel at rock-bottom.
Overcoming the “New Year’s Blues!”
1. Check Yourself and Bite Back. In the remaining days of 2018, I was determined to get out of my head and out of my feelings. I basically brought in the New Year alone, and honestly spent the eve repressing how crappy I felt. When I realized I was feeling blue, I shot the people closest to me heartfelt “Happy Holidays!” messages and felt my mood boost immediately.
I simply noticed and admitted that my destructive thinking patterns were trapping me in a funky state of mind. This was not my bliss. This was not living up to the hopes of tomorrow and dreams of a new year. So I confronted my feelings with gratitude—a tried and true remedy that always eases my troubles.
By appreciating the relationships that made me happy…I remembered that I’m not lonely.
2. Focus your attention elsewhere. In the remaining 10 minutes of 2018, I talked to my best friend (who got a sexy new haircut and is living her best life atm!). The holiday spirit was reverberating off of her. I found my own heart emptying out and refilling with joy! Not only did I feel extremely grateful for seeing her so happy, but I also engaged (i.e. “absorbed”) her high-vibe energy.
I suddenly felt absolutely overwhelmed with happy sensations and jolly spirits, and mindfully praised God for sidelining the funk I was in. I would not waste another second on thoughts that made me feel anything short of the bubbly electricity pumping my heart or anything that made me live outside of the moment.
(Gratefully, my best friend is openly encouraging, loving and uplifting. If you find yourself surrounded by people that make you feel stifled, tense, drained or blue; you may want to remove yourself from their acquaintanceship and add “meet soul-spiring people” to your 2019 Resolutions List.)
3. Reframe Your Thoughts and Reclaim What You Love. I love to Love, I love to Give and I love to Create. I spent my first minutes of 2019 writing a short NYE poem, titled New Year’s Eve, for my boyfriend
as a token of union and a gift of appreciation. And as I weaved my poem together, everything shifted. I was able to re-approach my midnight kiss ideals.
It didn’t matter that he was not around to kiss me into the future or that I could not kiss him into the stars. I realized that the tradition symbolizes growth in love and wishes of strengthening passion♥. Without a single doubt, I knew that my heart could say “I want to share my love with you,” way better than my lips could.
Closing note to readers: Remember to honor and appreciate all of your feelings…or you’ll only feel somewhat alive.Danny ♥
Does anyone else feel really gloomy during the “new year, new me” season? How do you come out of the funky fog?
Share with someone who may have the “New Year’s Blues!”